Tuesday, June 24, 2003

Men can go weeks without toilet paper

I have noticed that your typical man can go about 2-3 weeks with no toilet paper. At first it may seem like somewhat of a nuisance, but then you get used to it.

I've noted that there are a few ways around the no TP issue. First, you have to strategically plan your "sessions." I prefer the wait-til-you-go-to-work method. That seems to work pretty well because they always have one of those HUGE rolls that are like a foot in diameter at work. Those things are awesome. Why can't we have those installed in our homes? Only businesses have the right to use big rolls? Other people wait until they go to the store. If you're going out to eat anyway, hold it until you get to their bathroom.

A second way around the TP issue is to find a proper substitute. Any missionary will tell you that the Church News came in handy on more than one occasion.

A third way is the shower-after maneuver. I think that the name is self explanatory and I'd rather not explain it because it's rather gross.

I'm sure there are tons of other methods, but I can only think of those three at the moment. At my place at Belmont, we have opened an eRentPayer office and Van and Jason have been coming to work there for about a week now. We had run out of TP before they arrived, so having more bodies in the house only amplified the problem.

One day, Van couldn't stand it anymore and left work to go get some TP, paper towels, and napkins at the grocery store. Right when he got home we all made good use of the paper products immediately. I asked him why he went out and bought that stuff and he said "Well, I had to take a crap!" Funny, I never thought about it that way.

The ironic thing is that Rachel had also reached her limit that same day (even though it wasn't even her house, but she does spend a lot of time there) and had gone to to Wal-Mart to pick up the same thing. So now the eRentPayer office has a huge pile of TP. Hilarious!

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